Today's blog post is something that I don't necessarily talk about that often. Why? Because it is something that can cause shame and guilt and make me feel like a burden to other people. What can cause that? Chronic Pain.
People who live in chronic pain or with a chronic illness get labeled as dramatic, drug seekers, weak, sometimes even hypochondriacs, and so much more. I have heard the gamut, from people I love and people I barely know a like.
I have multiple family members that also suffer from chronic pain and chronic illnesses and diseases. They range from fibromyalgia, thyroid disorders, headaches/migraines, arthritis, diabetes, and to the more serious things like my dad and aunt's cystic fibrosis.
Sometimes people say the wrong things or assume the wrong things.
My cousin, Shannon, is one of the strongest people I know. She lives in pain, daily, and when your with her she laughs and jokes and has such a big heart and such a good attitude despite the fact that hugging her is literally one of the most painful things you can do to her.
Just because someone smiles and laughs and doesn't tell you every time their hurting, doesn't mean it magically went away. It means they are trying to not be a miserable person and they are trying to be strong, so people don't feel sorry for them or so people don't get annoyed by them. Chronic pain like cysts, fibromyalgia, arthritis, stomach pain, and headaches are invisible. If you ask me how I am feeling I will probably tell you that I am tired, Every time. I am. It is taxing on a body to experience pain so frequently, both emotionally and physically. It is emotionally draining when you have to go the doctor yet again or even worse, the hospital. It is not wanted or appreciated or liked, it sucks. It can be depressing and a source of great worry and guilt on the sufferer and it is extremely rigorous and challenging on the care giver.
I am not looking for pity or anything of that nature, I know that there is a light at the end of my tunnel. I have family members who probably don't necessarily have that light.
I guess I just want to remind people that chronic pain is a thing and just because there is no cough, sneeze, or they don't lay around in bed, doesn't mean that some days every step they take is difficult and some days they give everything to show up to something and be present. When they hear someone doubt their words or doubt their pain or their condition it hurts them deeply and can cause great guilt.
Do encourage them and when they are having a good day don't say, oh it must be getting better, just enjoy the day with them. When they are having a bad day, be compassionate on them and don't blow it off because it happens so often. Love on them the way they need it and be a light and a source of joy and encouragement to them.
Love,
Sam
