Our society is ruled by the next big tweet or controversial Facebook post. The news media extend and amplify tragedies for their own gain while the ones who actually live those tragedies are left to fumble through the mess that their lives have become. Even in our little town and group of "friends" we have become victims of shallow connections and fear of face to face talking; especially fear of talking involving hard conversations or truth or any amount of real connection.
We believe we have all these friends because we stalk and judge their posts and photos and for a moment feel like we were there with them in that moment, but in reality other than knowing general factual data like who they are married to, where they work, or what the names of people in their families are we don't really know them. We don't know what they struggle with, what their proud of, what their daily lives are like when the camera is not on them or they are not masking their feelings with posts aimed at making sure they look their best to people who don't actually know them or care to get to know them. There are exceptions to this as we all have those few people that we talk to outside of social media and use social media to contact them in case of phone issues or quick contact. However, if you went down your list of friends how many have you actually had a "real" connecting conversation to their face with that wasn't gossip, small talk, or passing by talk as I like to call it? How many friends do you see that you can tell me their state right now? Are they struggling , are they experiencing a new stage in life? Are they working on a new dream or trying to build one?
We have created a world where we see someone we occasionally interact with online and ask "How are you?" hoping they say I am fine how are you in return so you can continue to walk by and not have to interact.
It's a wonder that the upcoming generation can't talk their problems out or forgive each other or state their opinion without the whole world vilifying them. They live in a society that they have to walk on eggshells because the truth, while not meaning to be personal is taken personally, and people become offended by the smallest words.
I by no means am perfect, I open my mouth way to much and impulsively think before I speak. I have my own set of grudges and hurts that are partly a result of this.
Our new way of telling someone they have hurt our feelings is to simply ignore them completely and just sit in our anger or to defriend them on Facebook just to make sure they know your mad, but never giving them the time of day to talk it out. Not everything can be worked out, but not even trying has become the norm. The opposite reaction and it seems the only other one is to blast them on social media so the whole world knows your private problems and interactions and can then join in on the vilifying and the blasting and the cruelty that our "opinions" become.
We have such a high rate of suicide because of loneliness and bullying and opinionated people with a lot to say online but nothing to offer in person. Have you wondered if the person you ignored or chose not to talk to or blasted on Facebook or liked a negative comment about them if maybe that was their last straw? Or when you get on public forums and strip someone down and make them out to be a monster because they made a mistake or did one thing wrong (like we are all perfect and never do anything wrong), does it make everyone feel better, you feel better? Sure there are people that applaud your honesty, but would you vilify people to this degree in person?
This inability to have face to face, real conversations is prohibiting the world from connecting and society from being completely prosperous. We live our days watching and waiting to see whether or not someone likes our status or talks to us or comments or says something bad. If a person doesn't post a status sometimes we forget they even exist until we see them in Walmart and try our best to have the shortest conversation possible.
It's a sad reality that has created a generation and society that has lost the meaning of love and trust and connection. We destroy our Christian testimonies without realizing and turn people away from God without even blinking. Sometimes even the person you dislike or hold a grudge against really needs you to just smile at them or forgive them or just not vilify them and make them out to be the most horrible human being to ever had walked the planet.
Me personally I am having to learn how to truly connect, to let the people who don't really want to connect fall by the wayside and find people who can have a real relationship where one mistake doesn't end the relationship, but in the end can make it stronger. I have to learn to pick and choose I associate with and try to form connections with even more delicately then ever before. It seems harsh, but connecting with 1,000 people on Facebook or 50 at the ballpark or 100 at church only leaves you feeling more lonely then before, because those connections end the minute one person becomes offended or the wrong words are said or there is miscommunication or a lack of communication at all. Mostly because I have allowed these false "connections", friends", and "relationships" rule my perception of love and friendship and therefore destroyed my ability to believe that people can be honest or real or forgiving or loving and in turn my perception of my relationship with my Savior. I live with my walls up either craving false attention or shutting people out.
Christ called us to live abundantly and abundantly means without constant fear of offense or abandonment and with my walls down open to receive and give agape love that doesn't judge someone by their actions or their mistakes or the quirks, but that loves because that person exists and no matter the condition of ones soul or mind or heart they deserve love too.
You are one of my oldest friends, you were in my wedding, you and I are were destined to be from the moment we met. I have memories upon memories with you that make me smile every time I think of them. Six flags, Chinese pick up on the side of the road, boob padding, hugs, a shoulder to cry on, a person that loves me despite my many shortcomings, a person that has never judged me, and a friend who I can count on any day of the week. Our long talks about our spiritual lives and boys and children and school. There may be breaks in our closeness, but I know that if I called you at 3 am you would be there and I wouldn't have to apologize or explain or even worry about it...you would just be there.
You treat my kids like they are your own and spoil them like you're their aunt. I love you and I love your family and I pray that we never go a day without talking.
